I have, at last, had an offer of a plot. It was 18 months coming, which seems like a fair wait, but from what I hear from other people on other lists is actually pretty quick. The letter may have been clumsily folded, and clumsily phrased, but for once I don’t care; I have an offer of an allotment!
If I can, I’ll go and inspect the plot tomorrow to check that it passes muster. I’m expecting it to be overgrown with weeds. I’m expecting it to be liberally scattered with litter, junk, and miscellaneous gardening relics. As long as there aren’t mature, self-seeded trees dominating more than half the plot, I’ll probably take it.